Marvin Gaye Got It Right: Embodiment & Healing Through The Erotic

The act of embracing our sexuality can lead to a deeper understanding and connection with ourselves. It allows us to tap into parts of our being that may have been repressed or that are so deeply rooted in our patterns that we mistake them for parts of our own identity.  Good brother Marvin knew what he was talking about in his 1982 song "Sexual Healing". He recognized the transformative power of embracing one's desires and sensuality:

  • Sex is not just about physical pleasure, but also a means for healing and growth.  He wasn’t lying.   
  • Through embodiment and embracing our eroticism, we can break free from societal norms and expectations that limit us. We begin to see ourselves as multi-dimensional beings with the power to create our own narratives and redefine what it means to be alive. 

Healing Is A Journey

Healing requires uncovering  deeply rooted beliefs of guilt and shame or confronting past traumas.   Zorine Truly, the creator of HoochieCon, a celebration of African American subculture of fly Black women, makes it her business to call out the powerful femmes who came before us.  She highlights the reclamation of cultural and sexual expression through nail art, gold teeth and daisy dukes.  These physical attributes reflect the beauty, strength and resilience of Black femininity and holds a north star to illuminate our icons.  

Healing in a society designed to suppress us seems hopeless, but we have a squad of hoochies holding us up.  Joan Morgan, cultural commentator, who coined the term "hip-hop feminism," has thoroughly explored how Black women have used their sexuality as a form of resistance against societal oppression.  Our own individual journeys towards self-discovery and empowerment are interconnected with the larger collective struggle for social change. Embracing our sexuality can inspire and empower others to do the same, creating a ripple effect of positive change and intergenerational curse-breaking.   


Our bodies are intricate machines, fueled by hormones, neurotransmitters, and emotions. Sexual energy is a powerful force that flows through our bodies, connecting us to our primal instincts and inner desires.  When channeled in a conscious way,  sexual healing  allows us to tap into a source of energy that is deeply rooted in our human existence.  We can release shame and guilt surrounding our sexuality and instead embrace it as a beautiful and essential part of who we are. It grants us access to a reservoir of energy and creativity.  Through sexual healing, we liberate ourselves from past limitations and  open ourselves up to harvest or manifestations and unconditional love.  


Exploring the Link Between Embodiment and Sexual Healing

By consistently residing in our thoughts, we overlook the sensual experiences within and outside of ourselves.  Consciously tuning into our physical sensations, we can establish a deeper connection with ourselves, our partners, and the world around us. This awareness of embodiment plays a crucial role in sexual healing because it allows us to better understand and communicate our boundaries.  Getting back into your body is not going to be easy - specially for those who have experienced  complex trauma or shame around our physical identity.  

Acknowledging and wholeheartedly embracing our vulnerabilities and shadows is a necessary step towards healing. Don’t avoid the dark parts of yourself.  It's like sprinkling lemon pepper on top of your journey head on.  Shadow work invites us to face these challenges head on, with compassion and curiosity rather than avoidance and judgment. Incorporating sexual healing into our self-care routine can also be a powerful tool in cultivating radical acceptance. It allows us to tap into the inherent pleasure that resides within us and cultivate a positive relationship with our bodies. 

6 Different Sexual Healing Modalities 

There are numerous approaches and healing techniques available. Some methods concentrate solely on the physical element, employing techniques that address specific physical issues. While other approaches incorporate emotional and spiritual attunements, recognizing the interconnectedness of the mind, body, and spirit in the healing process. These approaches emphasize the importance of addressing emotional wounds and spiritual blockages that may be affecting one's sexual well-being and take into consideration access due to demographics: 

  1. Tantra: Originating from ancient Hindu and Buddhist traditions, tantra views sexuality as a sacred practice that can lead to deep spiritual connection and personal growth. It involves techniques such as breathing exercises, meditation, and sensual touch to enhance sexual pleasure and energy flow.
  2. Adult Entertainment Clubs (Strip Club and Swingers Club): Visiting an adult club allows us to explore our  sensuality in an environment with like-minded people.  Some who are throwing paper currency, while others engage in soft partner swaps.   It can also be a way to take a break from expectations surrounding sex, engagement and traditional ideologies concerning connectedness. 
  3. Kink and BDSM: These sexual practices can involve various forms of power exchange, role-playing, and sensory play. When practiced consensually and safely, they can be tools for exploring sexual and physical boundaries while building trust and intimacy with a partner, and taking your power back.  Exploring kink departs from heteronormative, procreative sex. It centers an individual’s own definition of pleasure, and reaffirms one’s right to desire without judgment. The negotiation of power dynamics and asserting boundaries allows for a sense of control and potential healing for many looking for a physical exercise of regaining power. 
  4. Sex Magic: This practice involves harnessing sexual energy to manifest your desired reality. It combines elements of Taoist practices, ancient rituals, and modern psychology to tap into the power of sexual energy for personal growth and transformation. Release what you’ve learned about magic.   Mystical and psychological meet. 
  5. Role-Playing: This form of sexual expression involves creating and acting out different scenarios.  It can allow individuals to explore different fantasies and desires in a safe and consensual manner. 
  6. Sensate Focus: Developed by Masters and Johnson, this technique involves focusing on physical sensations during sexual activity rather than achieving orgasm. It can help individuals become more aware of their bodies, increase intimacy and not only focus on the big “O”. 

You Are Your Best Medicine

To fully embrace the power of sacred sexuality, it is essential to explore and heal the connection between embodiment and eroticism. This journey can be challenging for Black women, as we are often taught to disconnect from our  bodies before we even learn how  to speak.  It is crucial to attune ourselves to the whispers of our souls, honoring those pleas for attention and tender nourishment.  As we heal from past wounds through mindfulness, we discover that self love is the ultimate remedy for what ails us. 

For more tools on your journey to self-love, sign up for the Self Care Journal, Healing Through Ritual and Self Reflection e-book. And if you want more helpful content like this, subscribe to our newsletter. We’re on a mission to break down the stigma around sex and healing. 

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